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New research found some interesting results about what men and women truly want in a partner, and information from surveyThis trouble occurs if your fear leads you to date with your guard up. That’; why learning to be vulnerable despite your fears, insecurities and natural imperfections is one of the most important aspects of skilled dating.

Being vulnerable involves being open, present, and authentic. It is the opposite of playing games or dating with a façade. The harsh truth is that when you share something about yourself and put yourself out there, you are not in control of how others respond. This can be especially painful when others don’t respond with the compassion, acceptance and understanding you had hoped for. Not being received in the way you had hoped can make the experience of sharing even more anxiety-provoking, and when faced with rejection, you may question yourself and enter into a shame spiral.

“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”

Oscar Wilde

However, taking the risk to let people in is the recipe for a true romantic partnership and love, so breaking through your walls is a must. You can learn a lot by being vulnerable and witnessing other’s responses. If you are not met with openness and acceptance by your date, this information is significant in evaluating compatibility.

Often the walls used for protection are the same walls that hinder the development of intimacy. You may genuinely want to find a loving relationship, but your fear gets in the way. This trouble occurs if your fear leads you to date with your guard up. This is why learning to be vulnerable despite your fears, insecurities and natural imperfections is one of the most important aspects of skilled dating.

Here are 4 ways to increase vulnerability:

Taking the risk to let people in is the recipe for a true romantic partnership and love, so breaking through your walls is a must. You can learn a lot by being vulnerable and witnessing other’s responses. If you are not met with openness and acceptance by your date.

  1. Recognize the purpose of being vulnerable

    Vulnerability is the means to really get each other, build a genuine bond and hopefully fall in love or determine you aren’t a good fit. If you don’t share about yourself.

  2. Change your perception of vulnerability

    Unfortunately, our culture sometimes mistakes vulnerability for weakness.

  3. Understand vulnerability may look and feel different at different stages of dating

    For example, healthy sharing and vulnerability on a first date looks and feels vastly different from healthy sharing and vulnerability on a sixth date because it takes time to build trust.

  4. Take baby steps toward being open and sharing more about yourself

    This is natural, so go easy on yourself as you try new ways of thinking and behaving.

Rachel Dack is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) and dating/relationship coach, who provides counseling and coaching services at her private practice in Bethesda, Maryland and by phone. Rachel’s areas of expertise include dating, relationships, self-love, anxiety, breakups, and divorce. Rachel serves as the leading Women’s Relationship Expert for Dating Advice.com and has been interviewed by a variety of media sources, including Bravo TV, The Washington Post, Counseling Today, PsychCentral, Redbook, Bustle, wtop, and more. Follow her on Twitter , Instagram and Facebook for more daily wisdom and dating/relationship tips!

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